(this got very long and i hate when people do such thing on my page or others…So, forgive me or don’t, read it or skip it) (the reason that i’m speaking is, this post addresses the one big annoyance that i hear and see from the poorest of ‘us’)
hmmm, how about letting this homeless bum attempt to bring some light to this, ‘why JC said to give up riches and find him in the streets’ – – it ain’t about ‘they’ the poor, it’s about YOUR HEART! The Fast track to changing of the heart would be to give up your riches, by giving it all away to the poor. Walking in *my* shoes, you’d quickly see that few have anything at all for you. Within days you smell bad, you’re greasy and your hair’s a mess. In weeks, your clothes are dirty rags and you’ve not shaved. In your *need* for food, you loose enough pride to ask for anything, the reply is, “Get a F***ing job You Lazy Bum!” – in your mind you ask, who would ever hire a smelly, dirty, desperate person like me?? – – never mind that i’ve several degrees?
And then a drunken man comes along and feeds you and tells you that he understands. Even in his abject and seemingly eternal poverty, he gives you more love and compassion than anyone that you’ve ever met. And he gives away half of his food, offers to share his bottle and has some good advice about people and survival in your new world. If you are wise, you learn this lesson fast, otherwise, you’ll learn the hard way and it comes Very Fast and it’s a Very Harsh Lesson that you’ll Never Forget it, or you will die. (my homeless wife nods her head as i read this to her)
Soon enough, it’s easy to see that things have not been the way that you’ve been lead to believe they are. ‘Services are withheld, food stamps are impossible, application to prove your poverty, endless. Churches reject you out of turn. No reason really. It’s simply they are leery of the ‘new comer’, the visitor, the stranger already judged… and i used a mud puddle to attempt to brush my teeth and clean up a little, before walking into the very clean sanctuary… (wear your Sunday Best, takes on new meaning) (you’re probably a drunk/drug addict/wife beater/convict/rapist/morally corrupt – a SINNER That Is Being Punished By GOD for some evil or 50 – “Let’s Let God Work Out Those Sins In YOU, I Would Not Stand In The Way Of What God is Doing IN YOUR LIFE!) (wife nods again and giggles a little)
Walk away, dust your sandals, try to forgive them… they are only doing what they’ve been told/taught/seen others do and say…it takes years to grow through the bitterness and rejection… it takes more compassion from the poorest, least able to teach, least equipt to even know what compassion is, yet *they*, as some of you refer to “the homeless”, do it all day, every day.
If you had any faith, it’s broken. It comes quickly back twice what it was, and is crushed in seconds. Starvation in the land of plenty..you sneak ‘lunch’ from a trash can and are seen doing so..you turn away in shame..faith and god have left the building….later ‘he’ whispers, i will never abandon you, you swallow back tears and die inside and out. Depression sets in and is everything and eternal. And then a miracle happens and GOD smiles when you witness it. – – you must die to self, so that you *might* be reborn, as recall from scripture and it is a bitter lesson.
You attempt to speak these things to some ‘religious person’, they laugh at your silliness and say, “GOD Doesn’t Do That Any More. He Did Those Things in the time of the disciples, but this is a New Time and He Doesn’t Do That NOW! *I* am a Doctor of Theology, my father and his father, all Preachers. I attended the best University, I Know The Bible, son, just sit down and I Will Teach YOU what’s what!” — a thousand lines of scripture fly through your mind/heart — you gently smile and thank the Good Rev. Dr. Christian® and you sit through a weak sermon, bright lights, armature musicians ‘worship’ a God they seem to want to know and your heart breaks and love leaks out…you hope some of that love gets mixed in with the mess that you see around you.. you gratefully eat a meal offered, walk back across town to that little place that’s almost clean and dry, and sleep, your backpack is pillow, your coat, the blanket, the concrete a mattress, HIS comforting arms protect you and soften the harshness…. the words, ‘God’s Grace’ take on new meaning, you smile thinking/praying – thank You Father that i’m not like them – and faith crumbles again.
But still you know that ‘papa’ has not abandoned you, the lessons continue, life is going to be long, the field is huge and the workers are very few. No one but the poorest see what God is doing in your heart or the work that you’re now doing… *they* call you pastor now, and you tell them to stop! But you know that’s what is happening…you remind God of things that he’s heard from others, i’m homeless, i’m dirty, i can’t speak from stage, i stutter, who would ever listen to someone like me, i’ve this and i’ve that… he snickers and calls you Moses… — Soon, Dr.Rev.Christian® mocks you by saying, “So this one thinks he’s Moses now!” You fire back with, DumbA**, Not Even Moses thought that he was Moses, Are there any that have been called willing to step into these shoes… you tune him out as he explains ‘proper school and training… you wonder where scripture says, and i will send the ones that i call to the proper schools in that time…HINT: it isn’t in Isiah.
This has gotten way longer than any comment that i’d willingly want to post – especially on someone else’s wall – on my page, the page that i’m posting from, No one thinks of me as pastor because of words that i say there, unless they are very wise..no one uses that title to address me and that’s just the way that it’s supposed to be, for now. My job is to attempt to heal the wounded on both sides of this mess, to build bridges for those without homes and those with homes.. my work is one of conversion, taught from a place of understanding the world that i once lived in and the one that i now live in now.. my new name is gnat, or so says jesus, my friend and teacher.